In October, I went to Maui by myself for a week. I had the incredible good fortune to housesit for a friend of mine which meant I only needed to take care of getting myself there. Which is a really good thing because I was part of COLOR’s most recent round of layoffs.
While being laid off is *not good*, being able to vacation without worrying about the pile of emails waiting for you, or the project that’s on pause, or needing to take “just a couple of meetings” is absolutely indescribable.
I swam with turtles. I supported local small businesses. I took my time reading ALL the signs on the Kealia Coastal Boardwalk. I fell asleep while reading Dune no fewer than 5 times. I volunteered at a food bank. I borrowed a dog from the Maui Humane Society for a 4 mile hike in the rainforest. I soothed my soul, gave back to ‘Aina, and came out ready to face what’s next.
9 years ago, I saw an ad come through Facebook for an event that promised endless vistas, tons of fun, physical activity, and bragging rights. Ragnar. The name alone made me feel brave and strong. I needed to know more.
A team of 12 runners split out over two vans running a total of 200 miles over the course of approximately 36 hours. Each runner is assigned three separate legs and there is always a runner on the course which means running through a day, a night, and a day. I was intrigued, excited, and frightened. I signed up immediately to captain a team.
That first year, I read blog post after blog post with pro-tips for running your first Ragnar Relay Race. I went to team captain meetings, I lurked on forums, and I watched hours of YouTube videos of teams on various Ragnar courses. None of which truly prepared me for the reality of leading a team through the rigors of a 200-mile relay. There’s no possible way to capture in a blog post the giddy euphoria of seeing your teammate hand off the infamous Ragnar slap bracelet to the next runner. It’s indescribable just how good spaghetti and meatballs tastes when you’re eating it in a high school gym, cooked by the PTA, at 1:30am, after you’ve just run 9 miles. Or the way your heart swells when you’re pretty sure you can’t run another step and then suddenly you see your entire van standing on the side of the road with a cold bottle of water and an already peeled satsuma. These are the moments that I wasn’t prepared for and that truly turned me into a believer in the power of Ragnar as the ultimate team bonding activity.
There’s something magical about sitting in a van with 5 of your co-workers, deeply uncomfortable, sweating vigorously, someone’s probably partially naked as they try to wriggle out of their sweaty sports bra and into a clean t-shirt, and another person is just desperately trying to take a nap. And knowing that there’s another van with 6 more of your coworkers doing the same thing. Some people might call it “trauma bonding” and that’s not wrong. But what’s the word or the term when it’s intentional trauma bonding. Like, dude. You signed up for this. Post-facto, the power of the bond continues; there’s greater ease and trust, the Ragnar nicknames live on in office banter, and the stories make other people want to join the adventure.
I’ve done Ragnar six times. SIX times I’ve organized packing lists, rented vans, assigned legs, packed coolers, organized team meetings, driven, run, not slept. I can’t wait to do it again. I can’t wait to laugh with and cheer and encourage and just absolutely adore the people I’m with while we intentionally torture ourselves. There’s nothing like it in the world.
Ah, yes, it had been a year since my last post in 2020. And now…well, now it’s 2024. Time passed. Like it has a tendency to do.
Updates? Sure.
Got into an MBA program. Finished the MBA program. I’m now a MASTER of Business Administration. Whatever that means.
I left my job at my previous company and started a new job at a new company. There are ways in which you could say “Same poop, different day” but that’s not entirely accurate. In some ways, of course, as an HR professional you’re always going to see some of the same issues: benefits confusion, manager coaching, leaders looking to terminate folks without documentation, leave management, building up and improving processes. But moving from Tech into “Tech Adjacent” has been a really interesting shift where it’s NOT the “Same poop, different day.” Now I’m working with folks who are decidedly squishier than my techies; they’re way more in their feelings, they’re way more likely try to figure out my ulterior motives (spoiler alert: none), and they’re way more aware of their own neurospiciness. They’re pretty great!
I got a hot tub. My dog died. My kid can almost drive. I joined a choir. I discovered cheese foam for boba tea. I went on a cruise. I’m preparing for my sixth Ragnar race. There you go, you’re all caught up. Nice job!
Look. You can say, “I told you so” or “I knew it!” or any number of other things but the simple fact is that I’ve been so busy pretending to be a Professional Woman™️ that I haven’t had the time to devote to blogging about it. Or even pretending to blog about it.
Since my last (first, ugh) post I experienced Christmas, a business trip to Phoenix (combined with a weekend stopover in Vegas to celebrate my husband’s birthday), organized and implemented (with help from my incredible Operations team) my company’s annual gathering complete with an internal conference day, have lead my company through a global pandemic, panicked my way through a presidential election cycle, and have decided to eat yogurt and do yoga every day. It’s been a big year.
Now, as the nation chews its fingernails waiting for the final tally from a handful of state that will determine who our president will be for the next 4 years, I’m submitting an application for grad school. I’m not one to count my chickens before they hatch, but I’m gonna do it. I’m going to get my MBA. Someone asked me how schools I was applying to and I was like, “Hah! One, to start. I’ll see what happens after that point.”
The way I see it, I’ve waiting this long to go back to school, if i don’t get into this program, what’s another 6 months? Or a year? But if I DO get in to this program…then it’s just two months before my evenings and weekends disappear for a while. No time like the present to not go on vacations, hang out in bars, or see friends 🥴.
It feels good to make a decision that’s all about me. Yes, of course me learning things like data analysis and strategic thinking is going to help my company, but more than that, it’s going to be a huge boost to my confidence and help me feel like I really do deserve my seat at the table.
Okay, that may be sort of an exaggeration. But maybe it’s not.
I’m the VP of Operations for a smallish-mediumish tech firm based in Seattle. We have a few offices in the U.S. and an office in London. Based on these stats, we are what’s known in common parlance as “a Big Boy company”. I am (am I?) responsible for the 80-ish souls employed by my company and it’s a responsibility that I take very seriously.
Which, TBH, can be difficult when I’m pretty sure that I’m a collection of mismatched socks stuffed inside a human suit. Imposter Syndrome much? Yeah, more on that later.
This blog is going to be an attempt to hold myself accountable (whatever that means in this context) as play the part of a Successful Professional Woman™️. I want to examine my shortcomings, celebrate my wins, and maybe even interrogate my feelings. I’m not just going to talk about work stuff but also personal life stuff, being a mom, being a female, and generally being a human who isn’t great with things like lima beans and emotions.
Fake Professional 